"That boy there, well he's playing a fool. He thinks he's funny and he thinks he's cool"

I've been going through some old pictures the past couple days which brought back many memories of my amazing dating life. I am now feeling the need to reflect a little on my past relationships/dating mishaps and the lessons I've learned from them. My next few posts will be about the lucky men in the playlist of my past.  I will be changing the names of the lucky men BUT, if I have a picture of them, I will be sure to add it onto my post! lol

First man to walk off the plank, whom we shall call "Toby too cool," was my first "love." Or so I thought at the time. I remember the first time I saw him in the high school lunch room. I was a freshman, he was a junior, and for some odd reason I thought he was the cutest boy in the school. He was kind of a scrawny little feller, with BLEACHED blonde hair. Yes, I did just say bleached. The sides of his hair was shaved and dark brown, and the top of his hair was long and blonde. Talk about HOTTT(insert sarcasm)! I admired him from afar for a couple days but was soon approached by a mutual friend of ours. This friend informed me that Toby thinks I am pretty and would like to meet me. So the next day, in the magical high school lunch room, this friend introduced me and Toby. From that day on Toby and I were inseparable.

I definitely lost the balance in my life. I didn't see my friends as much anymore, I was choosing to go to the golf course to watch him play rather than spend time with my family. I basically worshiped the ground he walked on. I have proceeded to think that way with a lot of my boyfriends since, but I will get into that later.

Things were perfect. We would go to lunch together everyday, spend the weekends together, see each other after school, there pretty much wasn't a moment that we weren't together. Then, 2 months into our relationship, he said those three words that every girl loves to hear "I love you." Although, I wasn't one of those girls that couldn't wait to hear those words. In fact, the minute he said I love you, my life turned upside down. I didn't know what love was or even how it felt! I gave in of course and said it back, but for weeks I questioned it. I even pulled out the dictionary and showed it to Toby too cool! I know, I'm a nerd. I just wasn't feeling this emotion back at all but the more I said it, the more I started to believe the words that were coming out of my mouth.

We dated on and off for 4 1/2 years, it was ridiculous. He at one point told me that since he got me as his girlfriend, he felt that he could get any girl so he wanted to play the field. Yep, he said that and I took him back. Boy was I naive. After those lovely 4 1/2 years, I finally built up enough courage and broke it off. It didn't end there of course. (He actually makes appearances throughout my life but I will get to that later.) After I ended it with Toby, he would sometimes drive by my house late at night and rev his engine just to let me know he's driving by. Talk about corny. This went on for months!!! Well, years actually. Soon I met a new boy to add to my playlist and Toby too cool did not like this. As I was saying goodbye to this new boy, whom I shall name in my next post, Toby pulled up in his dad's mini van. Toby stopped for a moment and revved the mini vans oh so loud and scary engine at us, then proceeded to get out of the van and tried to get into a fight with this new boy. Men and their peacocking...

In conclusion, you would have thought that through this relationship I would have learned a lot at that age, but honestly I was too consumed with other things and didn't really pay attention to what I was supposed take from it. As I got older and looked back on it, I started realizing a lot and finally learned my lessons. I was never IN LOVE with Toby too cool. I had just grown to love him as a friend throughout our relationship but was too scared to be true to myself and admit it. I lost myself in him and our relationship and took a lot of things for granted. Never again.

*Toby too cool's song on my playlist would be "Pretty Fly For A White Guy" by the Offspring

**Picture shall be added later! =)